Golden Slumbers

My baby put herself to sleep this afternoon. No Mommy required.
I'm pretty heartbroken.
Rio tends to move herself through the stages quite nicely and therefore I have never felt the need to push her into any new endeavor (e.g. losing the pacifier.) But this. I wasn't ready for this.

I have always rocked her to sleep. Cuddled up, read a couple of books, and kiss my sleeping baby on the forehead as I put her into her crib.

Occasionally, she wasn't ready to sleep. Occasionally, she would climb off my lap and play with her toys for a while longer. But eventually, she'd come back into my lap and snuggle her way to sleep.

Lately, she has been more restless. I would put her in her crib for a little while to have some quiet time to herself. I would watch the monitor until she cried out for me. I would return only if she was upset.

Only today, she never became upset. Never whimpered for me. She just laid down, tossed and turned for a while, and then....silence.

My heart quivered and I felt like I lost something.

I know I can't rock her forever...I just thought it would last until another baby entered our lives. Until circumstance forced a change.

Not growing up.