She's An Angel

I found out she's an angel
I don't think she knows I know
I'm worried that something might happen to me
If anyone ever finds out

Why, why did they send her
over anyone else?
How should I react?
These things happen to other people
They don't happen at all, in fact
--They Might Be Giants

Rio always amazes me.
Whenever I need her cooperation the most, she knows it before I do.
When our dogs escaped through the gate I accidentally left open,
she knew.
She had just woken up from her nap and I threw her in the car and
drove around crying, calling for the dogs.
She never uttered a word.
I'm sick. I have a bridal shower to put on this weekend and I'm sick.
I'm wearing this ridiculous blue mask so I don't get her sick.
And the baby who spends all day in my lap is entertaining herself.
She just seems to know.
Uncanny.

Catch The Wind

I need to buy a kite.
I just hope I can simultaneously watch the sky and my velocity girl. There's something so fascinating about trying to capture the wind. I hope Rio finds it just as captivating as I do.

There is a book written by Dave Eggers called You Shall Know Our Velocity. It's a great read about a couple of guys traveling the world in an attempt to give away $32,000. But at one point in the story they discuss movement. They talk about an ancient culture that viewed the soul as the bearer of everything that has come before you. The soul is not light but heavy - like a mountain. Herein lies the problem: how do you move when you are weighted down?

These ancient people were fascinated with the sky. They wanted to fly. They began jumping and running in hopes that they would evolve to become people of the sky.

Eventually, others discovered them and waged war in an effort to take over the land. But they never felt as if they owned the land to begin with. So they ran.
After all, there were other places to experience.

But they left a message for anyone who came after them:
YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY!

That's us...
when we try to catch the wind.

The Prettiest Star

You will be my rest and peace child

I moved up to take a place, near you

So tired, it's the sky that makes you feel tried
It's a trick to make you see wide
It can all but break your heart, in pieces

Staying back in your memory
Are the movies in the dark
How you moved is all it takes
To sing a song of when I loved
The Prettiest Star

One day, though it might as well be someday
You and I will rise up all the way
All because of what you are
The Prettiest Star

--David Bowie

Let's Pretend That It's Summer

At this point the weather should be shifting. By March we're usually working on our tans (well, Rio doesn't have to - she is the most delicious shade of caramel.) We're definitely taking showers outside. And we're absolutely hitting the beach.

My first year living in Massachusetts, I kept asking everyone, "when the heck is it going to get warm???" They would just laugh.
Try July, Honey.

That is why I moved back to Florida. But Florida's heat has forsaken me. Left me out in the cold. Left me wondering......

What am I going to do about this bridal shower that will be held at the beach?! The tent has been rented - the locale secured.

Florida, I'm giving you one week to turn this all around. Get back to business; do what you do best - be your warm, sunny self again.
Please and thank you.

Golden Slumbers

My baby put herself to sleep this afternoon. No Mommy required.
I'm pretty heartbroken.
Rio tends to move herself through the stages quite nicely and therefore I have never felt the need to push her into any new endeavor (e.g. losing the pacifier.) But this. I wasn't ready for this.

I have always rocked her to sleep. Cuddled up, read a couple of books, and kiss my sleeping baby on the forehead as I put her into her crib.

Occasionally, she wasn't ready to sleep. Occasionally, she would climb off my lap and play with her toys for a while longer. But eventually, she'd come back into my lap and snuggle her way to sleep.

Lately, she has been more restless. I would put her in her crib for a little while to have some quiet time to herself. I would watch the monitor until she cried out for me. I would return only if she was upset.

Only today, she never became upset. Never whimpered for me. She just laid down, tossed and turned for a while, and then....silence.

My heart quivered and I felt like I lost something.

I know I can't rock her forever...I just thought it would last until another baby entered our lives. Until circumstance forced a change.

Not growing up.

Friday I'm In Love

Love is in the air - the frigid air that is currently full of raindrops instead of sunshine,
but I won't dwell.
I love Valentine's Day.
I love the fact that I have people in my life who keep my heart beating.
I count my lucky stars every morning when I get woken up
with kisses and hugs
from
him and her.
I smile every night when I go to sleep with cuddles
and
legs that warm my feet.
I am thankful for love.

I Was Zapped By The Lucky Super Rainbow

I mentioned before that I have been on a house hunt. Big time. The house prices are so low right now that we couldn't pass up the opportunity to find a bigger home. (side note: if you ever wanted to move to Florida, now is the time! I'm talking about houses from $59,000!)

We love the mid-century modern design, particularly the Sarasota School of Architecture designs from the 50's/60's. Of course, those homes are way out of our price range so I just go to open houses when they come up and dream. I find myself staring longingly at the house until the Realtor feels uncomfortable (just kidding.)

So on my quest - which is really me driving around endlessly whenever Rio falls asleep in the car - I would scope out abandoned houses. I would return later with an accomplice to investigate further. Once or twice we found ourselves peeking in a window at an occupant of the house, but only once or twice. heh heh

Then I was zapped with incredible luck. I found a house that looks like a wreck from the outside, but inside I could see a definite design. I tracked down the owner (who has moved out of the country) and found her to be the most gracious person I've met in a while. She agreed to aid us in our quest to make this house our home. And then she threw a little cherry on top - she told me that this is in fact a Seibert home (Sarasota School of Architecture) and has the original plans and drawings. WHA???!!!?? GAK!!!!!

Now we'll see if my luck continues...will the bank accept our offer?

Stay tuned.

And She Was

"And she was lying in the grass...she's making sure she's not dreaming

Now she's starting to rise...take a minute to concentrate...and she opens up her eyes

The world was moving and she was right there with it (and she was)

Moving into the universe and she's drifting this way and that

She was glad about it...no doubt about it

The world was moving she was floating above it (and she was)
and she was"
--Talking Heads