Fuzzy Blue Lights

Before we adopted, I spent hours combing the internet in search of the adoptee's perspective.
I wanted to be sure that I wouldn't be hurting the very being I would give anything for.
I still worry.
I know that she is loved beyond belief. I know that she is treasured even more for being such a miracle.
I know that it feels as if she came directly from me.

But that's my perspective.
Right now, I can see we share that. She feels the same way.
She's happy.

But I'm always afraid that'll change.
As new babies enter the family, as remarks are made about who they resemble, as she starts to notice that we may not resemble one another.
I'm always afraid that she'll get a sinking feeling.
That she'll feel displaced.
That for just a second she'll feel unhappy about her life.

I will always honor her feelings and I let her know every single day
how special she is to me.
I'll just keep looking at the light that surrounds her.
It's amazing.
And I'm sure she'll see it too.